Mar 3rd, 2021, 02:00 AM

Feeling Sexy While Being Alone

By Lorenza Aranda
Image credit: Unsplash/Jacob Camphell
You don't need anyone else to feel yourself.

It's been a year since our lives were completely turned upside down by a stranger, a novel virus we thought wouldn't spread and one we didn't see as a threat. It's made us give up most of our social life as we knew it. We stopped seeing friends, family, and lovers, and our attitude towards ourselves, our empowerment, and most especially, our sexiness, has drastically changed. Some people have been through three lockdowns, come more or less. But everyone has experienced the self-alienation that accompanies this pandemic.

Many started looking differently in the mirror, not liking themselves or just being tired of trying to look sexy or good to stay at home. With the anniversary of the pandemic approaching, people still feel weird, alone, and wanting to change. It can be especially hard when you live with yourself on top of the coronavirus making it even more difficult to meet people or even go shopping to pamper yourself.

Image credit: Unsplash/Taras Chernus

Many of these problems might be familiar to you, or not at all. In either case, it is vital that you feel sexy, even if you are alone, even if you are wearing pajamas and sweats all day. Feeling sexy will make you feel much more empowered and help you feel better. However, it is not as easy as it sounds.

I have been struggling with this, the daily routine of waking up and looking in the mirror for yet another weird day in the pandemic, not knowing when it's going to end or what our new normal will be. It is difficult to find a way to change that mentality or that routine. But the day you wake up to look in the mirror and actually enjoy yourself, your life will change. But you don't need to do it alone. Some experts can guide you and give you tips. 

Clarke Rose is a specialist on feeling sexy. With a degree in Gender Studies at AUP and an active sex coach, she has some advice about feeling sexy amid this world crisis and being at peace with feeling yourself even if you are alone. According to Clarke, feeling sexy does not necessarily mean that you need to masturbate or do sex-related things.

There are many ways to feel sensual and have pleasure every day, and paying attention to them is important. "Pouring your coffee in the morning, and the smell or sound of it can give you pleasure. Pay attention to that. Or when you get out of the shower, and the mirror is all fogged up, and you see the shape of your body, that's when you can feel sensual. Pay attention to that, to your body," she says.

Paying attention to your body can also mean masturbating. We live in a time when finding sexual partners can be much more tricky; our social and interactive opportunities have diminished. So you have to take care of yourself in meaningful ways. Clarke says that masturbating does not have to be, "getting the job done".

If you are alone at home and looking to feel sexy, you can change things up. "Cook yourself a meal, get yourself wine, have a glass, watch a movie, imagine that you're trying to seduce someone else before you go into your masturbation routine. What would you do? How would you want a partner to treat you and do all those things to yourself."

Image credit: Unsplash/Dainis Graveris

Changing your "feel sexy" routine is good; every day brings new possibilities.

So remember that when, "taking yourself out on a date, it can be in your house and doesn't have to include masturbation if you're not feeling horny. We only need to remember that not everyone has a libido," Clarke adds. And it is expected, sexy does not have to mean sex, it can mean masturbation, passion, or simply taking pleasure in little things. Clarke says that, right now it can be normal to change your sexy routine because of worldwide stress and pandemic, but it is necessary to pay attention to those little things. 

There are many toys, sensations, and tips to get better at feeling sexy. For me, it's buying lingerie, taking a cute picture, and walking around my apartment naked. Everything and anything that makes you feel good and sexy is ok. There are no weird things. You shouldn't be uncomfortable doing them, so enjoy the ride.